Writing Life Lessons: Thoughts Shared at His Funeral
by Dr. William Sillings
The Fellowship’s good friend and leader, Dr. Donald E. Hicks, passed away on July 6, 2004 at his home, after a year long battle against pancreatic cancer.
His funeral service was held at Grace Bible Church in Parachute, Colorado on July 9. Officiating clergy included Steve Hicks, David Amrie, Dr. Marvin Powers, Charles Powers, Dr. Ray Easley and Dr. William Sillings.
The Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, “You are my epistle . . . known and read by all.” Paul was referring to the effectiveness of his own ministry among the Corinthians. He had so lived and taught that the Corinthian church was proof of his ministry. They were his life-lessons, written into the lives of the people of the church.
In fact, we are all writing our life lessons into the lives of others every day.
Many of us will resonate with the idea that Don Hicks wrote his life lessons deep into our minds and hearts. Don was a good friend and mentor to me for nearly 33 years. In light of this relationship, I want to mention six of the life lessons he wrote into my heart and, I think, into the hearts of many others who will read this tribute.
1. Live all out for Jesus and leave no doubts.
If there was ever a man who lived to please his Lord, it was Don Hicks. He lived with such a focus on his Lord that his life was continually and completely arranged around that devotion to Christ. He was always referring to the Lord’s ministry in his own life and urging others onward in their service to him.
I have held funerals where the families involved had no assurance of the eternal destiny of the person they were mourning. Their families hoped they were ready to meet God, but they had no full assurance of it. One of the greatest legacies we can leave our families when we depart from this life is the full assurance that we will spend eternity in heaven with the saved.
Don left no doubt as to his eternal destiny. He considered heaven his home. Just a few weeks before his passing, he was especially tired one evening. He looked at his wife and said, “I’m ready to go home.” As a result of his heavenward bent, Don’s funeral service was more a celebration than a funeral in the traditional sense. Even though there was a great deal of sorrow and sadness at the loss of husband, dad, grandad, brother and friend, the overall atmosphere was one of celebration because everyone present was without doubt as to Don’s eternal destiny.
2. Live life purposely.
I would be remiss to fail to mention Don’s delight in an ordered lifestyle. Some would call it the disciplined lifestyle.
There are too many stories to tell here. Some of them are humorous. Let’s just say that Don was not only disciplined, he actually took delight in being disciplined, and it bothered him if he discovered a part of his life that he let slip out of perfect balance for a while.
His discipline affected every area of his life – from the spiritual to the mundane. For instance, he was purposely optimistic, I believe the most optimistic man I ever knew. Some people said he saw the world with rose tinted glasses, but I believe he saw the goodness of God in every situation – even his illness.
This is a man who had his garage attic organized with shelves, hundreds of items, but for the most part he knew what he had and where it was.
His personal effects were also organized. He told me more than once that he could get up in total darkness, choose a matching set of clothes from the closet and chest, (down to the color of his shirt, socks, shoes and belt), dress and leave the house with nothing left behind.
He admitted that he was not perfect in his disciplines. He had a few things he was always working on. But over the past few years he began to think he was too ordered in some things, so he tried to let some of them slip by a little. But I don’t think he ever managed it. He loved order too much.
Disciplines of life might seem a minor detail in a person’s life message, but the truth of the matter is that discipline is part of discipleship, and Don set a high standard of disciplined excellence for the rest of us.
3. Live without regrets.
As in every life, there were difficult times in Don’s life, times when things did not go well as he had wanted, times when people he had counted as friends turned their backs on him, and/or said things to him or about him which caused him pain.
Don never focused much energy on those things, but he did speak of them now and again. Whenever we spoke together of any of those difficult things he had suffered, it was always a short discussion. And every time, he would end the short conversation we would have with these words, “William, I have no regrets. As far as I know, I don’t have one bad feeling, not one harsh word for any of those men. They may not feel good toward me, I don’t know. But I don’t have anything for which I need to apologize or seek forgiveness.”
It is a wonderful thing to live a life with no regrets – to live life in such a manner that relationships are kept clear, words that should not be said are left unsaid, and broken relationships are mended inasmuch as you are able to do.
4. Love without reservation.
Don exemplified Christlikeness in so many ways, but this is one of the greatest ways he did so. The love of Christ flowed through him to others.
For instance, he believed in young people before they knew to believe in themselves. He often gave himself to lifting up those who were not naturally good at their posts. He forgave easily, and disciplined lovingly and encouraged incessantly. And it seemed his greatest joy to help someone else achieve something great. He rejoiced with those who had succeeded and encouraged those who had not.
But his greatest display of love had to do with his family. One had to be around Don only a short while to discover his great love for his sweetheart, Gwen, and his son, Barry, or his grandson Roger or grand daughter Katie. He simply could not avoid talking about them.
But then, he also often spoke of his mom and pop, sisters and brothers, in-laws and nieces and nephews. You had only to listen for a while to know his deep love for all of them.
However, it was for Gwen that he reserved his greatest love and admiration. His sun rose and set according to how Gwen was doing. And his greatest concern about having cancer was that he would have to leave his wife. The thought was almost unbearable to him.
In a day when marriages are unstable and the majority of people seem to be self-centered, such selfless love is refreshing and exemplary.
We might ask where such love comes from. It comes from a long relationship with a loving God whom Don served with all his heart until his last breath.
5. Make a significant contribution to the lives of others.
The question we will all ask ourselves one day is not, “Did I make a difference?” but “What kind of difference did I make?”
Don would sometimes say, “I don’t feel like I’ve done any great things my life. But if I’ve had any success, it is that I have perhaps helped others to become what they could become.”
Many of us would disagree with his estimation that he had never done anything great. He made a significant impact in the lives of hundreds of men and women. That is the very essence of greatness – to serve others until they reach greater heights than they would have without you.
Don impacted the lives of hundreds of college students for God and for good in his tenure as president of Covenant Foundation College, and then as a General Presiding Officer and Chief Executive Officer on the denominational level. He has had an impact, literally, around the world for God.
Never a man to attract attention to himself, Don influenced men and women in a quiet, unassuming manner. He believed in men when they had a hard time believing in themselves. More than once he said to me, “You can do it William.” And when preparing to step down from his position as the Fellowship’s Chief Executive, he sought to take a back seat at every opportunity to prepare the way for the next Executive.
Undoubtedly, he did the same kind of thing for many of you who read this article. He pushed you to become your best, always encouraging you with affirmations of his faith in your ability to do better than you think. And your life is better for his influence.
6. Finish Well.
It’s not just the beginning of a race that’s important. You have to finish well.
When Paul ended his race, he was able to write the words which were read in the obituary this morning. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.” (2 Tim 4:7-8). I believe Don could say those same words without hesitation.
The few days prior to Don’s death were heart wrenching. Sometimes we’d have to move him in the bed. Barry was good at moving him, but I was not so well practiced, and when I moved him I almost always hurt him. He would moan and grimace, but he never complained any more than that.
I would apologize to him for making him hurt “I’m sorry, Don, so sorry.” When he could speak he’d whisper back, “It’s Okay, William, it’s Okay.” I knew it wasn’t, of course. But he took into account the fact that someone was trying to do the right thing, even if it turned out wrong.
Don closed well. He just lived the life of a Christlike man until his last breath. What an example for the rest of us.
We will miss Don’s presence at our Assemblies, at ICC meetings, and in our churches across the country. But, knowing Don as I did, I am sure he would say to us all, “Don’t spend your time mourning. Get on with the work of the Kingdom and bring glory to Jesus.” In fact, 11 months before his passing, he spoke with me about his funeral service. He said, “Whatever else you do, William, you and whoever else takes part in the service, remember this: I don’t want whatever service you plan to be about Don Hicks. I want it to be about my Jesus!”
Well, we did as well as we could, but we couldn’t help celebrate the lessons of a life well lived at least part of the service. May God help us all to live so as to leave such positive lessons in the lives of others.
Commenting is closed for this article.
Writing Life Lessons: Thoughts Shared at His Funeral
by Dr. William Sillings
The Fellowship’s good friend and leader, Dr. Donald E. Hicks, passed away on July 6, 2004 at his home, after a year long battle against pancreatic cancer.
His funeral service was held at Grace Bible Church in Parachute, Colorado on July 9. Officiating clergy included Steve Hicks, David Amrie, Dr. Marvin Powers, Charles Powers, Dr. Ray Easley and Dr. William Sillings.
The Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, “You are my epistle . . . known and read by all.” Paul was referring to the effectiveness of his own ministry among the Corinthians. He had so lived and taught that the Corinthian church was proof of his ministry. They were his life-lessons, written into the lives of the people of the church.
In fact, we are all writing our life lessons into the lives of others every day.
Many of us will resonate with the idea that Don Hicks wrote his life lessons deep into our minds and hearts. Don was a good friend and mentor to me for nearly 33 years. In light of this relationship, I want to mention six of the life lessons he wrote into my heart and, I think, into the hearts of many others who will read this tribute.
1. Live all out for Jesus and leave no doubts.
If there was ever a man who lived to please his Lord, it was Don Hicks. He lived with such a focus on his Lord that his life was continually and completely arranged around that devotion to Christ. He was always referring to the Lord’s ministry in his own life and urging others onward in their service to him.
I have held funerals where the families involved had no assurance of the eternal destiny of the person they were mourning. Their families hoped they were ready to meet God, but they had no full assurance of it. One of the greatest legacies we can leave our families when we depart from this life is the full assurance that we will spend eternity in heaven with the saved.
Don left no doubt as to his eternal destiny. He considered heaven his home. Just a few weeks before his passing, he was especially tired one evening. He looked at his wife and said, “I’m ready to go home.” As a result of his heavenward bent, Don’s funeral service was more a celebration than a funeral in the traditional sense. Even though there was a great deal of sorrow and sadness at the loss of husband, dad, grandad, brother and friend, the overall atmosphere was one of celebration because everyone present was without doubt as to Don’s eternal destiny.
2. Live life purposely.
I would be remiss to fail to mention Don’s delight in an ordered lifestyle. Some would call it the disciplined lifestyle.
There are too many stories to tell here. Some of them are humorous. Let’s just say that Don was not only disciplined, he actually took delight in being disciplined, and it bothered him if he discovered a part of his life that he let slip out of perfect balance for a while.
His discipline affected every area of his life – from the spiritual to the mundane. For instance, he was purposely optimistic, I believe the most optimistic man I ever knew. Some people said he saw the world with rose tinted glasses, but I believe he saw the goodness of God in every situation – even his illness.
This is a man who had his garage attic organized with shelves, hundreds of items, but for the most part he knew what he had and where it was.
His personal effects were also organized. He told me more than once that he could get up in total darkness, choose a matching set of clothes from the closet and chest, (down to the color of his shirt, socks, shoes and belt), dress and leave the house with nothing left behind.
He admitted that he was not perfect in his disciplines. He had a few things he was always working on. But over the past few years he began to think he was too ordered in some things, so he tried to let some of them slip by a little. But I don’t think he ever managed it. He loved order too much.
Disciplines of life might seem a minor detail in a person’s life message, but the truth of the matter is that discipline is part of discipleship, and Don set a high standard of disciplined excellence for the rest of us.
3. Live without regrets.
As in every life, there were difficult times in Don’s life, times when things did not go well as he had wanted, times when people he had counted as friends turned their backs on him, and/or said things to him or about him which caused him pain.
Don never focused much energy on those things, but he did speak of them now and again. Whenever we spoke together of any of those difficult things he had suffered, it was always a short discussion. And every time, he would end the short conversation we would have with these words, “William, I have no regrets. As far as I know, I don’t have one bad feeling, not one harsh word for any of those men. They may not feel good toward me, I don’t know. But I don’t have anything for which I need to apologize or seek forgiveness.”
It is a wonderful thing to live a life with no regrets – to live life in such a manner that relationships are kept clear, words that should not be said are left unsaid, and broken relationships are mended inasmuch as you are able to do.
4. Love without reservation.
Don exemplified Christlikeness in so many ways, but this is one of the greatest ways he did so. The love of Christ flowed through him to others.
For instance, he believed in young people before they knew to believe in themselves. He often gave himself to lifting up those who were not naturally good at their posts. He forgave easily, and disciplined lovingly and encouraged incessantly. And it seemed his greatest joy to help someone else achieve something great. He rejoiced with those who had succeeded and encouraged those who had not.
But his greatest display of love had to do with his family. One had to be around Don only a short while to discover his great love for his sweetheart, Gwen, and his son, Barry, or his grandson Roger or grand daughter Katie. He simply could not avoid talking about them.
But then, he also often spoke of his mom and pop, sisters and brothers, in-laws and nieces and nephews. You had only to listen for a while to know his deep love for all of them.
However, it was for Gwen that he reserved his greatest love and admiration. His sun rose and set according to how Gwen was doing. And his greatest concern about having cancer was that he would have to leave his wife. The thought was almost unbearable to him.
In a day when marriages are unstable and the majority of people seem to be self-centered, such selfless love is refreshing and exemplary.
We might ask where such love comes from. It comes from a long relationship with a loving God whom Don served with all his heart until his last breath.
5. Make a significant contribution to the lives of others.
The question we will all ask ourselves one day is not, “Did I make a difference?” but “What kind of difference did I make?”
Don would sometimes say, “I don’t feel like I’ve done any great things my life. But if I’ve had any success, it is that I have perhaps helped others to become what they could become.”
Many of us would disagree with his estimation that he had never done anything great. He made a significant impact in the lives of hundreds of men and women. That is the very essence of greatness – to serve others until they reach greater heights than they would have without you.
Don impacted the lives of hundreds of college students for God and for good in his tenure as president of Covenant Foundation College, and then as a General Presiding Officer and Chief Executive Officer on the denominational level. He has had an impact, literally, around the world for God.
Never a man to attract attention to himself, Don influenced men and women in a quiet, unassuming manner. He believed in men when they had a hard time believing in themselves. More than once he said to me, “You can do it William.” And when preparing to step down from his position as the Fellowship’s Chief Executive, he sought to take a back seat at every opportunity to prepare the way for the next Executive.
Undoubtedly, he did the same kind of thing for many of you who read this article. He pushed you to become your best, always encouraging you with affirmations of his faith in your ability to do better than you think. And your life is better for his influence.
6. Finish Well.
It’s not just the beginning of a race that’s important. You have to finish well.
When Paul ended his race, he was able to write the words which were read in the obituary this morning. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.” (2 Tim 4:7-8). I believe Don could say those same words without hesitation.
The few days prior to Don’s death were heart wrenching. Sometimes we’d have to move him in the bed. Barry was good at moving him, but I was not so well practiced, and when I moved him I almost always hurt him. He would moan and grimace, but he never complained any more than that.
I would apologize to him for making him hurt “I’m sorry, Don, so sorry.” When he could speak he’d whisper back, “It’s Okay, William, it’s Okay.” I knew it wasn’t, of course. But he took into account the fact that someone was trying to do the right thing, even if it turned out wrong.
Don closed well. He just lived the life of a Christlike man until his last breath. What an example for the rest of us.
We will miss Don’s presence at our Assemblies, at ICC meetings, and in our churches across the country. But, knowing Don as I did, I am sure he would say to us all, “Don’t spend your time mourning. Get on with the work of the Kingdom and bring glory to Jesus.” In fact, 11 months before his passing, he spoke with me about his funeral service. He said, “Whatever else you do, William, you and whoever else takes part in the service, remember this: I don’t want whatever service you plan to be about Don Hicks. I want it to be about my Jesus!”
Well, we did as well as we could, but we couldn’t help celebrate the lessons of a life well lived at least part of the service. May God help us all to live so as to leave such positive lessons in the lives of others.
Commenting is closed for this article.
